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June 30 Poll on CanadaIn the Spring, 3,114 adult Canadians were surveyed with five questions about Canada. The top ten responses for each of the questions are listed below. For more info on the poll, visit www.101things.ca.
Who Is Canada's Defining Person?
1. Pierre Trudeau
2. Wayne Gretzky
3. Terry Fox
4. Celine Dion
5. John A. MacDonald
6. David Suzuki
7. Tommy Douglas
8. Stephen Harper
9. Lester Pearson
10. Maurice Richard
Peltonator's Comments: Canadians are looking at Politicians (1, 5, 8, and 9), Singers (4), Heroes (3 and 7), and Educators (6). The only Athletes we are looking at are hockey players (2 and 10). We are not looking at Actors/Comedians, or Inventors/Discoverers. I think news anchors, like Lloyd Robertson and Peter Mansbridge should be more highly regarded as we see them every night and they not only keep us informed with what's happening across the nation (and in the world) but also interview key people and serve as links between us and our country.
What Is Canada's Defining Place?
1. Niagara Falls
2. The Rockies
3. Parliament Hill
4. Ottawa
5. CN Tower
6. Quebec City
7. Toronto
8. Montreal
9. Province of Quebec
10. Vancouver
Peltonator's Comments: It's interesting that Banff National Park / Lake Louise didn't make the list: it seems unrecognized outside of Alberta. We share Niagara Falls and the Rockies with the U.S., so I'm surprised they're at the top spots.
What Is Canada's Defining Event?
1. Canada Day
2. Confederation
3. World War I and II
4. Calgary Stampede
5. Vimy Ridge
6. Plains of Abraham
7. Grey Cup
8. Olympics
9. Expo '67
10. Quebec Winter Carnival
Peltonator's Comments: I don't know about #'s 3 and 8. Many countries were involved with those. I guess #3 brought the country together and #8 made us feel part of the world. Canadian Thanksgiving should be on there, though and maybe Expo '86. But all in all this is a good list.
What Is Canada's Defining Accomplishment?
1. The Canadarm
2. Peacekeeping
3. Universal Health Care
4. Discovery of Insulin
5. Invention of the Telephone
6. Multiculturalism
7. Canadian Charter of Rights
8. Canadian National Railway
9. Freedom
10. Avro Arrow Project
Peltonator's Comments: It's amazing that Peacekeeping is so highly regarded by Canadians, even higher than Health Care.
What Is Canada's Defining Symbol?
1. The Maple Leaf
2. Hockey
3. Canadian Flag
4. Beaver
5. RCMP / Mounties
6. Stanley Cup
7. Canadian Wilderness / Scenery
8. Loonie
9. Maple Syrup
10. Moose / Caribou
Peltonator's Comments: It's interesting that no Canadian businesses were mentioned as symbols. This may be because, in recent years, Canadian establishments like The Bay (the world's oldest company) and Tim Horton's were bought out by Americans.
June 21 Human Relations 12: Summary of the MisconceptionsOne of the reasons people treat each other badly is that their behaviour is being driven by misguided beliefs and misconceptions about human nature. I've looked at four common beliefs which I believe to be erroneous. What follows is a summary of some of the key points.
1. Human Nature
False: Negative feelings, like anger, lust, and jealousy inevitably grow within us. We must get rid of them or else they will eat away at us. To get rid of them, we must let them out through brief but intense acts of indulgence: temper tantrums, passion, what have you. For example, if someone makes you angry, you should blow up at him to release the anger, not bottle it up inside you.
True: Human beings have a dual nature: the animal and the human. The animal consists of primal drives which we need in order to survive. The human consists of the faculty of reason and our conscience. Our animal nature tells us to do what we feel like doing. Our human nature tells us to do what's morally right or logical. We must strengthen our human self so that it continually dominates over our animal self. When someone makes us angry, our animal self wants to lash out at him or beat him up. Our human self tells us that this would accomplish nothing and tells us to take a better course of action. When a taxi driver cheats us, we call his company's customer service to report it rather than beating him up.
2. Value and Authority
False: Some people are more valuable than others, and these should be respected. Salaries, job titles and degrees of academic education determine how valuable people are. Some people have authority over others, and these should be obeyed.
True: We are all equally valuable, as we were all created from the same dust. We should, therefore, never exalt ourselves over others. Some of the greatest contributions to society's advancement have come from people who were uneducated and poor; whereas, some of the wealthiest people in lofty positions have wreaked havoc on the world.
3. Growth
False: People grow and develop when their faults are exposed and they are criticized. In order to have self-esteem, we must overlook our own faults. In order to help others, we must criticize them, so that they will improve themselves.
True: People grow through encouragement, not criticism. We should strive to root out our own shortcomings while overlooking the faults in others. If we constantly look at others' failings, our own lives will grow crooked. All people are noble and intelligent and are quite capable of self-correcting when they make mistakes. When we encourage them and praise them, it gives them the confidence to grow.
4. Response
False: When someone treats you badly, you should treat him badly to make him think twice before doing it again. We should treat others the way that they treat us.
True: We should treat others the way that we would wish to be treated. This is the Golden Rule. All too often, we misinterpret intentions behind the behaviour. When we really are treated badly and we respond with a counter attack, this only creates an escalating conflict.
Now that I've dealt with some commonly-held but fallacious ideas, it's time to get into the ways in which to deal with people properly. How are we to treat others, especially when they treat us badly? I'm going to tell some true stories, list some rules of thumb, and introduce some revolutionary new concepts. Again, I believe this issue, the issue of human relations, is the most vital and pressing concern facing society today and that if things don't turn around soon, we—our marriages, families, businesses, schools, institutions, communities, and nations—are headed for certain doom. June 18 Carolyn's Amazing ReunionIn December 2006, Carolyn took me to her old stomping grounds, the residential area where she spent her childhood. I wrote about it (with photos) here:
Later on, Carolyn's family moved to Pudong (east of the river) in a better location. While in her old living area, we visited Carolyn's friend Rita who was still living there. Rita was the Chinese equivalent to the western "maid of honour" at our wedding. Remarkably, Carolyn has kept in touch with the same friends she had in her childhood, who all lived in this same residential area. Carolyn tells me she had a very happy childhood. She said many Chinese parents put tremendous pressure on their children (child) to excel at school, sometimes even beating them if they didn't get top marks on their exams. She said her own parents didn't do this; they didn't want her to live a stressful life, just a casual and happy one. So, while Carolyn just contented herself with doing okay, one of her neighbours from childhood did not. She struggled hard under tremendous pressure to perform well, getting high grades, landing her at the top university in Shanghai - Fudan. After graduation, she was able to migrate to the United States (Florida) where she lives with her husband and child. She now speaks excellent English and is therefore the dream child of any Chinese parent. Her name is Cha Cha. Recently, Cha Cha returned to Shanghai for a visit. All the old childhood friends, including Carolyn, Rita, Cai Jun, and Jessie were anxious to see this young woman of excellence. Last night they got together for hot pot. Carolyn said it was the first time since Primary School that they were all together. It was a reunion of Cloud 9 proportions! Here's a photo of the five of them. From left to right: Carolyn (the beauty), Jessie (the nice one), Cha Cha (the successful one), Cai Jun (the down to earth one), and Rita (the chummy one).
June 16 Human Realtions 11: Eye for an Eye vs. The Golden RuleThe fourth and final misconception I'm going to address is that of perpetrating bad behaviour in the name of justice. The philosophy is that when someone treats you badly, you should return fire to teach the person a lesson and to make him think twice before hurting you again. This is often called the "eye for an eye" method, which is flawed for several reasons, the most logical of which was put best by Gandhi who said that if this formula were universally applied, it wouldn't be long before the whole world was blind. (For an interesting note on "eye for an eye", see the comment below.)
This philosophy is based on the principle that we should treat others the way that they treat us: we treat well those who treat us well and we treat badly those who treat us badly. This runs contrary to the Golden Rule, the common thread linking all religious traditions together. The Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, and Baha'i Faiths all state in their Scriptures that we should treat all people the way that we wish to be treated, not simply the way that they treat us. If we don't subscribe to any of those traditions then we can look closely at why the practice of revenge doesn't work.
John burns Jane's house down. Jane takes revenge by burning John's house down. The only difference is these actions is that John committed the crime before Jane did, but the fact is that both John and Jane have committed crimes. The same is true in non-criminal but immoral acts. Mary scolds, or vilifies, or rebukes Mark. Mark yells back with disparaging words. Both are guilty, the only difference being that Mark's ill-treatment occurred after Mary's.
What often happens in these games is that the initial action is an innocent one, done out of pure intentions. But the intentions are misinterpreted by or offend someone. That someone applies the "eye for an eye" mentality and snaps back. The first party gets hurt and insulted because he did something he thought was good and was thanked with verbal abuse, so he, very indignant, returns fire, which makes the second party even more furious, and the situation turns into an escalating battle.
The book I mentioned previously called Dealing With People You Can't Stand gives a good example of this:
"Frank owned a sporting goods shop. In a seasonal business, the store had just finished a very unprofitable season. The cashflow was low and for that reason many of the lights in the shop were burned out and remained unreplaced. A new employee, noticing this problem, took it upon himself to order bulbs and replace them all. He also filled the stock room with two more years' worth of new bulbs, so the store wouldn't be in the dark again.
"Frank was furious that the store's limited financial resources had been used in this way, and he gave the new employee a dressing down in front of his other employees. Two years later, Frank wonders why this employee has demonstrated no initiative and instead has to be told everything."*
Frank misinterpreted the new employee's intent. It was good and pure. He simply wanted to be helpful and take initiative. Frank took revenge by dressing down the new employee, so that he would think twice before hurting the company's finances again.
The book says, and I agree, that seldom do people intentionally do things to hurt others. More often than not, pure and good intent is misinterpreted and the second party takes revenge with a verbal attack. It is important to find out why someone did something first. I will go into this in more detail later with further examples. The main point I want to make is that the "eye for an eye" attitude which is carried out in the garb of justice shrouding the wolf of revenge is both inappropriate and ineffective.
*Dealing With People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst by Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner, 2002 edition, pp. 47-48. June 13 Canada's Long-Awaited ApologyIn 2002, Director Phillip Noyce released his film Rabbit-Proof Fence which raised international awareness about and steeled Australian disgust against a sad chapter in their history, when 100,000 Aboriginal children were removed from their homes to be assimilated into white culture. Six years later, last February, Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd offered a profound apology to Australia's "Stolen Generations".
Yesterday, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, following Rudd's move, apologized to Canadian First Nations people who were forced into horrific residential schools to be stripped of their culture, indoctrinated in Christianity, and were physically and sexually abused. What follows is a good article by David Ljunggren.
To see a video of the Prime Minister's speech, click on this link:
OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canada, addressing one of the darkest chapters in its history, formally apologized on Wednesday for forcing 150,000 aboriginal children into grim residential schools, where many say they were sexually and physically abused.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper told a Parliamentary chamber packed with legislators and aboriginal representatives that there could be no excuses for what happened at the church-run schools, which mainly operated from the 1870s to the 1970s. "The government of Canada sincerely apologizes and asks the forgiveness of the aboriginal peoples of this country for failing them so profoundly. We are sorry," Harper said in a 15-minute address, at one point fighting back tears.
Native leaders said they hoped the apology would lead to a new era of reconciliation between Canadians and the often marginalized aboriginal population, which routinely suffers from poor living conditions and high unemployment. The residential schools were initially set up to educate native children but later became part of a government campaign to assimilate aboriginals and eradicate their culture -- "to kill the Indian in the child," as some put it at the time.
"There is no place in Canada for the attitudes that inspired the Indian residential schools system to ever again prevail," Harper said. Contemporary accounts suggest up to half the children in some institutions died of tuberculosis and other diseases. Many survivors say they were abused mentally, physically and sexually. Children were beaten for speaking their own languages and told they would be damned unless they converted to Christianity.
Harper received a lengthy standing ovation when he finished. The public galleries in the House of Commons were full of native activists, several wearing feathered headdresses and embroidered clothes. Twelve aboriginal representatives -- including 104-year-old Marguerite Wabano, the oldest school survivor -- sat on chairs in a circle in front of Harper.
Phil Fontaine, head of the Assembly of First Nations, said the apology "for this dreadful chapter in our shared history" would ensure the survival of Canada's aboriginal people. "Finally, we heard Canada say it is sorry," he told Parliament, his voice breaking. "It is possible to end our racial nightmare together. The memories of residential schools sometimes cut like merciless knives at our souls. This day will help us to put that pain behind us," said Fontaine, wearing a full native headdress.
Native leaders say the damage done by the schools is directly responsible for many of the social problems that plague the country's 1 million aboriginals today. Willie Blackwater, a survivor who launched a landmark 1995 lawsuit against the school supervisor who repeatedly raped him, said the apology had surpassed his expectations. "It was actually really awesome to hear the prime minister speak those words of apology ... it was quite a moving moment for me. I was crying through most of that," he told Reuters.
In May 2006, Canada reached a C$1.9 billion ($1.9 billion) settlement with the roughly 90,000 school survivors. The settlement created a truth and reconciliation commission which started work on June 1 and will spent the next five years hearing from school survivors across Canada.
Harper later attended an aboriginal ceremony and signed two copies of the apology, which will be hung in Parliament. The scandal is reminiscent of what happened during the same period in Australia, where at least 100,000 aboriginal children were removed from their homes. Prime Minister Kevin Rudd apologized to the "Stolen Generations" in February.
June 05 Human Relations 10: Encouragement, Not Criticism, Engenders GrowthFirst we looked at the erroneous but popular belief that human beings have a single nature and, in order to get rid of negative feelings like anger, these must be "let out" in order that he is purified. This is a little like thinking that, in order to light a room, we must try to get rid of the darkness by removing it so that the room will be lit. The only way to get rid of the darkness is not by dealing with it but by turning up the light, which automatically dissipates the darkness. We, in fact have a dual nature – the animal and the human. It's only by strengthening or turning up the intensity of our human traits (compassion, detachment, sincerity, etc.) that the darkness of our animal instincts (anger, lust, greed, jealousy, etc.) will vanish.
Second, we looked at the false but common conviction that human beings have different levels of importance, and those who are more valuable have the right to exercise authority over others. In fact, we were all created as equals, from the same dust, so that no one may exalt himself over the other. Regardless of class, level of schooling, and job titles, we have the same worth, though different roles to play in society's workings.
The third concept I want to address is that of criticism. Many people believe that people grow and develop through criticism. I beg to differ. Time and time again it has been shown that the opposite is true. All people are intelligent and noble. When someone makes a mistake, he is quite capable of noting it and applying self-correction. People do not need to be reprimanded for their mistakes in order not to repeat them. What nearly always happens is that criticism leads someone to be defensive, to counter-criticize the criticizer, or to give up and quit. "If you don't like the way I do it, then you do it!" Growth never results from criticism but always from encouragement. Criticism is like poison and destroys everything. But many people think that they've been placed on this earth to constantly find fault with and criticize their fellow human beings. This behaviour is ultimately self-defeating as the following analogy will clarify.
Jim was a farmer. On opposite sides of his farm were the farms of his neighbours, Tom and Harry. Each of the three of them had their own plough to direct. Little did Jim know but, in order to keep his own furrows straight, he had to keep his eye on them, focus on his own goal, and concentrate on his own job. But he kept looking to the left and to the right to see how Tom and Harry were doing. He prided himself on his expertise and his helpfulness. He continually yelled at Tom and Harry, criticizing their ploughing, telling them how it should be done. Because of this, Jim's own furrows, the furrows of life, became hopelessly crooked.
The moral of the story is that each of us is responsible for one life only—our own. We are all far from perfect, and the mammoth task of improving our own life and character is one that requires all our concentration, energy, and resolve. If we allow our attention and focus to be dissipated in the vain pursuit of keeping others on the right track and correcting their faults, we are wasting our lives away. Red Wings VictoriousThe Detroit Red Wings have won the Stanley Cup, defeating Pittsburgh 4 games to 2. They've won the Cup 4 times in the last 11 seasons. Associated Press writer Alan Robinson writes:
"The Red Wings raised hockey’s most cherished prize yet again Wednesday night, easing past the young, determined but not-quite-good enough Pittsburgh Penguins 3-2 in a decisive Game 6 that, just like a breathtaking Game 5 two nights before, featured a desperation rally, a near-miracle finish and a season’s worth of tension.
"Only the Penguins couldn’t finish this comeback, despite getting a goal with 1:27 remaining and nearly scoring again in the very last second. Nor could they get the finals back to Detroit for a Game 7 that would have tested the old-but-good Red Wings’ resolve and character.
"Not that there was any question the Red Wings have plenty of both, after they put together an excellent defensive game and just enough offence to bounce back from a devastating, draining 3-2 loss in Game 5 in which Pittsburgh scored the tying goal with 35 seconds left and the game winner in the third overtime." June 03 Qing Sisters in ShanghaiIn the early 1990s I had a friend from Turkey named Ziya. He was studying at the University of Calgary and introduced me to a Chinese Singaporean girl named Choe also studying there. Choe was the oldest of four children whose grandparents, like many, had immigrated into Singapore from Mainland China. They were from the Guangzhou area; thus, they were Cantonese. Later on, Choe's youngest sister, Ling, came to Calgary to study art. While there, she met a Canadian named Vince who was also studying art. Needless to say, they fell in love and got married. They are living in Singapore now, and I've gone there to visit them a few times. Vince made it to Shanghai for my wedding in 2006. This year it was Ling's turn to come for a visit. Her middle sister, Fun, came to Shanghai for business. Carolyn had never met Ling, so it was great for them to finally meet. We took the two Qing sisters around town for a week. Attached are a few photos.
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