| Earth's profilePELTONATOR'SPhotosBlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
April 29 Human Relations 05: Psychology's ShortcomingsThere are a number of so-called "Self-Help Books" on the market that deal with issues of how to get along with people. One of the best ones, from which I'll be quoting, is called Dealing With People You Can't Stand.* Don't let the lurid title fool you; it's actually very positive and gives a number of great ideas about how to deal with being treated badly by others.
However, one of the biggest shortcomings of psychology is that it often infers that we are responsible for how other people treat us. If we are treated badly it means that our personality is asking for it. We are called upon to behave in certain ways designed to prevent others from mistreating us. How often do we hear things like "if we don't stand up for ourselves, people will walk all over us".
I would argue that we are not responsible for how others treat us. More often than not, the reason for ill treatment is not that we did something wrong but that the ill treatment is stemming from a lack of virtue. No matter how pure and innocent is the spirit behind what we say and do and how carefully we construct our words and actions, others with dark hearts will always find some excuse to become offended by it and retaliate. Getting others to treat us the way we want to be treated should not be the determiner of our behaviour towards people; rather, we should behave in ways that are right. In other words, rather than being pragmatic, we should stick to principles or rules of conduct.
A key point to bear in mind is that sometimes the best of people, those who treated others with the utmost courtesy, honour, respect, and love, were themselves scorned, hounded, envied, abused, and even killed. I don't need to provide a list here of all the historical figures who met such a fate. Did such figures adjust their behaviour to try to get others to stop treating them badly? No.
Another major shortcoming with modern psychology is that it tends to deal with symptoms rather than the root causes of such problems. It's like dealing with the measles by trying to rub the spots off as an Englishman once told me. Saying the right things with the right tone of voice and body posture in order to get your way is correct only in form, not in spirit. Internally, your spirit has to be animated with such qualities as sincerity, humility, loving-kindness, and so on.
When society is ill with a lack of virtue, we do try our best to deal with people the best we can, to "roll with the punches" as is often said. But still, relationships are falling apart, marriages are ending, business are floundering because its employees are not getting along, nations are bullying other nations, wars continue. What we really need is to be proactive and inject the remedy into the roots. In other words, we need to educate ourselves and our children about how to treat others. I believe it is vital to the continued survival of the human race.
* Dealing With People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst by Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner. Published by McGraw-Hill. April 28 Human Relations 04: The Tongue is a Smouldering FireOne of the problems with relying solely on the legal system is that it protects us only from physical harm. Laws against violent crime are certainly necessary. But a great Persian educator once wrote: "the tongue is a smouldering fire, and excess of speech a deadly poison. Material fire consumes the body, whereas the fire of the tongue devours both heart and soul. The force of the former lasts but for a time, whilst the effects of the latter endure a century."* Saying nasty things to others with a dark spirit can do much more harm than bodily harm. I've met people who've mentioned nasty words spoken to them years ago. They will always remember them. Rules or principles of conduct in addition to laws our legal systems hold are nothing short of a blessing.
* Bahá'u'lláh, The Book of Certitude, p. 193. April 26 20,000 HitsToday, Peltonator's surpassed the 20,000 hits mark, confirming my suspicions that I'm not wasting my time doing this weblogging thing. Human Relations 03: Laws Give Us FreedomA Canadian educator once asked the following question: what if physics had no laws, or at least they were always changing at random. Suppose you suddenly became much lighter because gravity altered. It would be every kid's dream: you could jump as high as a telephone pole. But, in the midst of one jump, the laws changed back and now you plunged down breaking your back on the pavement. The fact that physics has laws, or rules of how things work, gives the world stability and order, which, in turn, gives us the freedom to go about our daily business.
If there were no traffic laws, how freely would the traffic move? The right balance of laws enables the cars to move freely without too many accidents.
The reason why we have laws is to give us freedom. The writings of various creeds and belief-systems are littered with laws, or shall we say rules, governing our conduct and the way we are to behave toward our fellow human beings. Without rules and without following them, human relationships will degenerate into chaos, and society, in all its aspects, will flounder. When we have rules of conduct and we are educated to follow them, all gatherings and groups of people are protected from injury. April 24 Human Relations 02: Liberty is the Calling Card of the AnimalGiven an overall decline in virtues in the world, people tend to react in one of two ways: they either treat others badly or they indulge in their own personal pleasures. John Stuart Mill and other intellectuals have stated that the first is far worse than the second. But let's think about it. I would say that the rights of the individual and society are inextricably linked. We often think of individual rights and freedoms but fail to look at the rights of society. An example will make it clearer.
John Doe was a surgeon and a father with a drinking problem. One night after indulging in several glasses of a beverage containing the drug of alcohol, which nullifies the human mental faculty of reason, he was called into surgery. Needless to say, the errors he made due to his drug-induced state nearly resulted in the patient's death. John Doe's boss no doubt had a little chat with him. He said that he was free to do whatever he wanted as long as it didn't affect his work. John straightened himself out by indulging in his bad habit at those times when he was not needed at work—the times when he was with his family, including his four children. His four children—indeed all children—are the future players of society's functioning. John Doe was never in a state of mind that enabled him to raise his children up to be good people. He was negligent. Many other parents did the same. In the future, the children grew up to take the reigns of commerce and industry, of government and education. How has society been affected by people like John Doe who thought they were just minding their own business and had the right to do what they wanted as long as they did no harm to others? By doing "harm" to oneself, we really do indirectly harm others and harm society.
Liberty—in the sense of having the freedom to do what one wants—is the way of none other than the beasts of the field. If an animal wants to mate, it rapes. If it hates another, it kills. If it wants something, it steals. What makes a human being unlike an animal is that he possesses the gift of reason. He doesn't just do what he feels like. He thinks about it: is it the right thing to do? Even if every atom of his being is craving a certain action, he has the ability to restrain himself if he feels that it is wrong. Even if he is offered all the riches and pleasures (rewards) for doing something wrong, he can refuse. And if he is offered severe punishments, including death, for doing what he feels is right, he has the moral strength to proceed. April 23 Human Relations 01: The Important Question of How To Treat OthersA while ago I promised I would pick up the theme of How to Treat Others in the next spool of web log entries, but I got sidetracked into Chinese music. Perhaps it was a way of soothing my spirit before dealing with a serious and profound topic. Anyway, on to the weighty topic of human relations…
How we treat other people is perhaps the most vital component of any system of morality. The question sits at the crux of all systems of philosophy and religion. The philosopher John Stuart Mill put forth the argument that human beings should be free to do whatever they want so long as they do no harm to others. The so-called "Golden Rule", the common thread that binds all religions together, suggests that we treat others the way that we would wish to be treated. The foundation of the teachings of the Chinese thinker Confucius is all about social relationships.
It is obvious that the fabric that holds society together is comprised of the threads of people's behaviour towards other people. When the threads are threatened by the blades of contention, estrangement, vilification, backbiting, and abuse, the relationships fall apart, be they a family, a business, a government, or a nation. Rome falls!
The life of an individual is not just about getting an education, a job, a spouse, a house, children, and retirement savings, because, in all these activities, good relationships are vital. And having good relations with others depends fundamentally on how the people in the relationships treat each other. The life of a nation is not just about having a good legal system and healthy economy. The law doesn't prevent or deal with angry words, arrogance, adultery, resentment, lying, and ill will. If the members of a family are not united, selfishness leads them away from sharing and towards each desiring his own things—each member needs his own television, computer, music player, and so on. The economy of the family quadruples. The same is true with a family of cities, provinces, or nations. Before we deal with the issue of how to treat others, let's first look at some related concepts.
To be continued... April 18 China, Canada Will Always Be Part of the WorldAs the old saying goes, "Why do you look at the speck in someone else's eye while ignoring the beam in your own?"—advice so often ignored in modern times. Those guilty of this ethical offense were labeled as hypocrites. Although this proverb is usually associated with how an individual should behave toward another individual, I would argue that it applies with equal legitimacy in the behaviour of nations toward nations.
The United States justified warring with Iraq because it hypocritically accused it of harbouring weapons of mass destruction. But the U.S. itself harbours far more weapons of mass destruction than all other nations combined.
Recently, Canada hypocritically pointed the finger of blame at China's quelling of violent protests of separatists in its province of Xizang ("Tibet"). But remember that Canada, itself, called out the national guard to suppress separatist protesters in its province of Quebec during what is now known as the October Crisis of 1970.
This finger-pointing of Canada's deeply offended its Chinese citizens, who account for nearly 4% of Canada's population. Recently, thousands of Chinese Canadians assembled on Parliament Hill in Ottawa to express their indignation. One banner read, "Tibet was, is, and always will be part of China".
Imagine that, in 1970, a number of nations, including, say, the United States, criticized Canada for not honouring human rights by suppressing violent protesters in Quebec and by not allowing many Quebecers from realizing their separatist dreams. Canadians living in the U.S., would, no doubt, have been offended and may have staged a rally outside their White House. Banners they held up may have even said things like, "Quebec was, is, and always will be a part of Canada."
Disruptions of torch relays, biased press coverage, protests and rallies, website-blocking, hurt feelings, barring of the press resulting in suspicion, back-and-forth accusations of civil rights violations, a CNN reporter's racist comments—these are all heartbreaking incidents when one considers the history, not only of Canada's relationship with China, but also China's history with the rest of the world, especially the West.
Throughout history, China has alternated between opening up to and closing its doors to the outside world. It usually withdrew from the outside world because it was mistreated, abused, and taken advantage of. After some time, a confident Emperor would decide to open up the "Middle Kingdom's" relations with the world outside only to result, eventually, in China's being bullied. (Take the Opium Wars, for instance). So, again, China would close its doors.
China has been able to maintain brotherly relations with Canada over the years due mainly to the heroic work of Dr. Norman Bethune, one of the few foreigners to actively assist China, self-sacrificially, when it was being brutalized by war.
Because China is opening up to the rest of the world now more than ever before, the hopes and dreams of 1.3 billion people are set on the Beijing Olympics. The Chinese people and the Chinese government have set their whole hearts on the event. They have worked hard to organize this mammoth event as a symbol of friendship and peace with its sister nations. If all these tests escalate, just imagine how hearts will break.
I, for one, sincerely hope that all these tests leading up to the event will be overcome by maturity, goodwill, friendship, and a cessation of fault-finding.
Yes, Tibet is part of China and Quebec is part of Canada. But, let's remember that both China and Canada will always be part of the same world. April 12 Chinese Music Part 10A: The New Millennium–OverviewThroughout the first decade of the new millennium, Jay Zhou remained the most popular male singer in the Chinese-speaking world. Second to him included singers we've already profiled, namely David Tao, Andy Lau, Eason Chan, and Alexander Wang.
As far as the females went, the first half of the decade, Singapore's Stefanie Sun was number one. But in 2005 she was overtaken by Taiwan's Jolin Cai who dominated the charts in the latter half of the decade. Other popular female singers whom we've already profiled were Joey Yung, Sherry Zhang, Gigi Leung, Sammi Cheng, Faye Wang, and Elva Xiao.
In terms of singing groups, S.H.E. remained unbeaten in popularity throughout the decade.
Significant aspects of the 2000's included the following:
1. Arguably, there was no new hugely popular singer from Hong Kong. New local singers tended to be popular within the region only and included the likes of Stephy Tang and Janice Vidal. Veteran Hong Kong singers, however, saw an ever-increasing level of popularity throughout the Chinese-speaking world, especially Eason Chan. Hong Kong named four new "Heavenly Kings" but these were all older singers (some debuted back in the 80s!) and are not as popular outside of the region: Andy Hui, Leo Ku, Hacken Lee, and Edmond Leung.
2. After the tragic demise of the one popular Chinese band who composed their own music and played their own musical instruments, a number of new rock bands, though never reaching the level of esteem as Beyond (who will always be known affectionately as The Chinese Beatles), nevertheless have gradually risen to prominence.
3. Perhaps the most significant development of Chinese pop music, since Y2K, has been that Mainland China has begun to churn out some heavyweights. For a number of reasons, stars from the Mainland had been hindered from rising up to superstardom. The nation viewed them performing on the annual Chinese New Year variety shows but the masses never became avid fans rushing out to buy their CDs and attend their concerts (if these stars held any). Prior to televised singing contests like Supergirl, the batch of pop singers from the Mainland included the likes of Cui Jian, Sun Nan, Natasha Na, Han Hong, and Dao Lang. But since the advent of extremely popular idol shows, a number of newly acclaimed singers from the Mainland have become forces to be reckoned with.
4. In addition to Mainland China joining the ranks of pop music superstardom, another country has flourished, and that country is Malaysia. In fact, the biggest song of the decade was brought to us by a Malaysian artist. With the fading out of Stefanie Sun, Singapore has contributed a couple of new stars as well.
5. Many of the new pop stars during the decade were born in or grew up in Canada or the U.S. Because the music industry of these countries is exclusive towards those of Asian descent, they had to brush up on their Chinese and become singers of the Chinese language.
I will be presenting four new entries on Chinese Pop Stars of the new millennium. The first will be on the new rock bands. The second will be on new stars from Mainland China, including but not limited to the "super girls". The third will be on new stars from Malaysia and Singapore. And the fourth and final entry will be on new pop stars of the new millennium that don't fit into any of the categories above, especially those from Taiwan, the U.S., and Canada.
Part 10B (Bands) is located here: http://peltonator.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!184A2363AD187F54!4190.entry
April 04 Chinese Music Part 9: 2001 - Year of the Singing Groups2001 was the year of the singing groups: one female duo was formed in Hong Kong, and, in Taiwan, a female trio and a male quartet were formed. Their names: Twins, S.H.E., and F4 respectively. As the career of the latter has been inconsistent, we'll write about the first two only.
Twins
Band Type: Female Singing Duo
Members: Gillian and Charlene
Gillian Chung
Chinese Name: 鍾欣桐
Cantonese Name: Chung Yan Tung
Mandarin Name: Zhong Xin Tong
(b. 1981 in Hong Kong)
Charlene Choi
Chinese Name: 蔡卓妍
Cantonese Name: Choi Cheuk Yin
Mandarin Name: Cai Zhuo Yan
(b. 1982 in Vancouver, Canada)
Twins is a singing duo of two former models who aren't twins—Charlene and Gillian.
After growing up in Hong Kong, Gillian Chung attended university in Melbourne, Australia during which time she worked as a part-time model. Charlene Choi was born in Vancouver but moved with her family to Hong Kong a few years later. After her schooling, she worked as a full-time model in Hong Kong. In 2001, the Emperor Entertainment Group approached both women individually to ask them to form a singing duo which later came to be known as Twins.
During their first two years together, Twins released 3 EPs and 3 albums, all of which sold well. Most of their songs topped the charts for several weeks. In 2002, they held their first concert and three more in 2003, one of which was in the Mainland Chinese city of Guangzhou. By 2003, they received a remarkable total of 48 musical awards. They released their first Mandarin album in 2005, Trainee Cupid. In 2007, they embarked on a concert tour of Canada and the United States.
Popular songs from Twins include "Thanks for the Breakup" (多谢失恋)
and "Next Station: Queen" (下一站天后)
S.H.E.
Band Type: Female Singing Trio
Members: Ella, Hebe, and Selina
Selina Ren
Chinese Name: 任家萱
Mandarin Name: Ren Jiaxuan
(b. 1981 in Taibei, Taiwan)
Instruments: piano, flute
Hebe Tian
Chinese Name: 田馥甄 a.k.a. 田喜碧
Mandarin Name: Tian Fuzhen a.k.a. Tian Xi Bi
(b. 1983 in Taiwan)
Instruments: piano, flute, and drums
Ella Chen
Chinese Name: 陳嘉樺 a.k.a. 陳艾拉
Mandarin Name: Chen Jiahua a.k.a. Chen Ai La
(b. 1981 in Taiwan)
Instruments: piano and trumpet
This trio of Taiwanese superstar women is currently the most popular group in the Chinese world. As you can guess, the band's name is an acronym of their English names. The three women entered a singing contest. Though Selina won, the other two were both finalists. So they decided to form their own singing group. They have released 10 albums with sales of over 4.5 million since their debut Girls' Dorm in 2001. They have endorsed more than 30 companies including Coca-Cola.
It wasn't until the group's fifth album, 2003's Super Star, that their popularity skyrocketed. The album's title track remains their biggest hit to date. Not only did it top the radio charts but became the most requested song in karaoke venues across the Chinese world. In Singapore YES Radio, it remained in the top four for 10 consecutive weeks. The song won four awards. S.H.E.'s sixth album, Magical Journey, churned out three Number 1 hits, including the smash "He Still Doesn't Understand" and sold one and a half million copies in Asia. The trio began their first major tour drawing a crowd of 25,000 in Taibei and setting an attendance record in Shanghai. Their seventh album, Encore, sold a million copies in its first week of release. It became their most successful album, eventually selling over 2 million copies. Hits from the album included "Migratory Bird" and "I Love You". Their eighth album, Once Upon a Time, set a record with 50,000 pre-orders. Its song "Don't Want To Grow Up" won a Song of the Year award in Hong Kong. In the summer of 2006, the group launched their second major concert tour in Shanghai. Within the tour's first five months, they had attracted over 200,000 fans and collected over 6 million USD.
Listen to S.H.E.'s mega-hit "Superstar"
"He Still Doesn't Understand" (他还是不懂) |
|
|
